Managing Conflict And Difficult People

At a recent Annual Meeting of our Company, we performed an exercise which defined our behavior styles. Those styles included the following: Directive (ask specific questions) , Logical (be diplomatic), Emotive (spend time on the relationship) , and Facilitative (be loose, create a supportive environment). Which one are you? We are all different, so no one style is better or worse than the other.

Ways of RESOLVING CONFLICT –

• Directing Aggression – “ Every conflict has a winner and a loser. I intend to be the winner.”
• Collaborating/Problem Solving – “ Let's work it out.”
• Compromising – “Let's split the difference.”
• Accommodation – “I'm willing to give up a lot to end this conflict”
• Avoiding – “This isn't worth fighting for.”

Sometimes we have a clear option (thus carefully picking our battles) and sometimes we feel that we really don't (when certain rules are broken or money is owed). There are times we must win and at times we can compromise. Other times we can avoid the whole thing or just give it up .

Ways of MANAGING CONFLICT -

• Face It. – Don't ignore something that bothers you. Confront the issue before the situation becomes intolerable. However, a cooling off period may be established with an agreement on when you will deal with the issue later.
• Direct Talk – Talk directly to the other person involved. Work together to try to solve the issue yourselves
• Be Approachable and Available – When someone approaches you with an issue, be willing to work with them. Seek out additional help if needed.
• Don't encourage Behind the Back Talk – If an individual begins to complain to you about another person who is not present, encourage them to talk directly with the other person instead. Be willing to mediate the discussion if needed.

TECHNIQUES THAT WORK -

• Be sure the problem is real and is not just your interpretation.
• Try to identify the real issue , not just the symptoms or personalities.
• Be prepared to work toward a mutually agreeable solution, not just toward “winning”.
• Keep some perspective. Relationships are not destroyed but can even be enhanced by working toward a mutually satisfactory solution to a conflict.