Tense Relationships... & How to Relax Them

It happens all the time…you pick up the phone and the person on the other end begins their conversation with a complaint about their neighbor. Living in a Community Association, whether it is a condominium, a townhouse or a single family home, also involves living in close proximity to your neighbor. It is inevitable that you become more familiar with each other which in turn sometimes creates a frendly, comfortable relationship . . . or sometimes a tense one.

I find that many people are hesitant to address an issue with their neighbor either because they are afraid of retaliation or they are afraid of offending them. Either way, we as community managers are typically the individuals who receive this call from one neighbor complaining about the other.

When you receive this call, hopefully, the person on the other end is not irate and screaming into the phone; although this scenario happens from time to time. (Just remember that the caller is upset about the issue and try not to take their tone personally…this could be just the culmination of a bad day.) It's always best to listen carefully to the issues being raised by the homeowner. Try not to interrupt as this may further escalate the issue. Once you have had an opportunity to listen and have a reasonable understanding of the issue, you may begin to ask a series of questions to ensure you are clear about the issue. If the issue is one that cannot be verified during normal business hours, you should suggest that the homeowner address his concerns in writing. Many times, people find it easier to report an issue over the phone; however, when a complaint is made it should be taken seriously and having the complainant address the issue in writing helps to demonstrate some accountability. Certainly if the issue is a violation that can be seen during the day, you may opt to inspect the issue and determine if the alleged violation is accurate.

Not all disputes are related to a homeowner issue. Occasionally, a dispute arises between the Board and a contractor. Again, this is an issue that should be identified in writing to clearly express the concern of the Association. Most often, contracts will specifically note measures to be taken in the event service is not satisfactory. Be sure to follow all contract specifications exactly as they are noted in the contract. This will help to ensure that if the issue escalates and is not resolved after written notification is provided, there are measures the Association may take in order to cancel the contract.

Handling dispute resolution is a tricky issue… you should always try to remain calm and professional in your dealings with a homeowner or a contractor. Remember not to take the issue personally…for homeowners, this is a very personal relationship as it concerns their home, their money and their community. For contractors, it is their business. We as managers are here, in part, to help ensure clear communication between all parties.

Be sure to document your conversations, especially in the circumstance of contractor issues. Save e-mail correspondence as this can be helpful when referring back to a particular issue - - - whether it is related to a homeowner or to a contractor. (Of course, you don't want to have your system crash by storing too many e-mail messages, so where it is appropriate, you may consider printing a hard copy and keeping it in a safe location.)

Overall, listening and being patient are two great skills to use when trying to resolve any dispute. Be sure to follow up promptly and to make the Board of Directors aware of major issues as the problem may escalate and may require their direction.

Handling a dispute in a tactful, professional manner can speak volumes about you and how you conduct business!