Managing the Manager-Board Member Relationship

Whether you're new to community management or have been at it for years, there is one management function that always remains challenging, and that is managing your relationship with a board of directors. The way you approach this challenge sets the tone for your entire future relationship, so making sure it is the right tone for you is paramount to a successful management career.

Community managers are like ringmasters in a circus. They may not walk the tightrope or put their head in the lion's jaw (though many times it may seem like it!), but they direct and coordinate all of these talents and to keep the show moving and chaos to a minimum. Good ‘ringmaster' managers never let the audience see any of the frenzy that might go on behind the curtain – to their boards things just run smoothly.

But what happens if members of the audience are in a perpetually bad mood? What if they are critical of your every move? What if they think they should be the ringmaster? This is a true test of your management gifts.

As managers (and humans) we are not all endowed with the same abilities and aptitudes. Some of us are better than others at explaining financial statements or discussing contracts or maintenance or insurance. But one talent we all need to develop is the ability to read our board member clients and figure out how to interact with them successfully. Becoming an amateur ‘psychologist' will help you throughout your management career.

We have all met the sarcastic grump. Her glass is always half empty and the sky is falling. Nothing is ever done exactly as she wants it. She is on the phone or sending emails daily, telling you how to do your job. Whenever I'm faced with having to work with and please such a person, what works for me is to take a step back and try to see things from her perspective. Maybe she is frustrated in her own work situation, or maybe she is unhappy with her personal life. I try to focus her energies on a passion project, such as landscaping or re-writing the rules. At the same time, set some boundaries about her use of your time. For example, one such client and I agreed that we'd talk on Thursdays and she would compile her comments or questions in a list we'd go over all at once. Often she just needs some appreciation and ego-stroking for what she believes is all of her hard work– but it has to be genuine, because she can smell a phony a mile away! So make sure her efforts receive public recognition in her community.

Speaking of phonies, this is another difficult person to deal with on a board. They are nice to your face (or their fellow board members) and talking trash behind everyone's back, often with falsehoods and innuendo. Such a person can be poisonous, so it is important not to ignore them in hopes they will change. Head on confrontation also presents a problem, so my approach has been to make all of my communications with this person open to everyone on the board, and to resist taking sides or seeming to play favorites. Once it becomes apparent, often other members of the board will step up and censure this person's behavior, which is ideal. It isn't easy, but I try not to take things personally.

In managing many managers over the years, I have found that there are two approaches to managing board relationships that seem to have the most success. One is to be the revered expert. This manager is well-educated, tactful but forceful, and exudes confidence. Board members feel like they are being led by someone who knows the best way, someone dependable and reliable. They speak up, they have a plan, and they take charge. These managers rarely fall victim to second-guessing or back-stabbing.

The other successful approach is to be well-liked. These managers may not be the most experienced or well-educated, but they have such winning personalities that any troubles are smoothed by their friendly approach to relationships. They gain a lot of trust because they are so sincere and so self-effacing that anyone who criticizes them seems mean spirited.

One of my best managers is a highly-educated, analytical type. Board members follow where he leads because they know he knows what he's talking about. One of my longest-term and most successful managers is a friend to most of her board members. She is invited to their weddings, knows their birthdays, children's and pet's names, and they bring her flowers from their gardens. Both managers owe their success in part to the way in which they manage their relationships with their boards.

Our work to manage our board-manager relationship never ends, since board membership is dynamic and constantly changing. It behooves us to think about our own personalities and approaches to interpersonal relationships so that we can create the personae and board/manager relationship that works best for us and will carry over from one board to the next. What approach will work best for you?

Sharon Massingham, CCAM®
Founder
Massingham & Associates Management
Hayward, CA